The NYC Surprise

So remember the last time I posted, I had promised pics of the KICK ASS bday gift from NE?
(If you don’t recall, just see the post below this one. You’ll be up to date after that.)

Well here’s a little background on the gift:
You should first know that I am a blog stalker.
Not yours of course, so you can relax.
And not in a creepy hide in the bushes with a stocking cap, soap on a rope and pair of tweezers kind of way either, so don’t call the cops.
But I enjoy humor and wit and when I find blogs that make me laugh, I read them.
Often.
And then without their permission...I start following them. (I think that’s the stalker part)

Anywho, my current fave is Alison Rosen.
I always envision her and I being friends in another life.
The type of friends that have so much fun together just laughing at each other (and ourselves).

We would spend Saturdays complimenting the other on their great one liners & sharp use of the English language. Making puns about clever things and what have yous.

Ok you can see that this is turning creepy.

And I don't want you to think of me as a creep so I will stop.
Back to the birthday story…

NE was in NYC last week celebrating a birthday that was not mine with a person that was not me.*
And while she was there, she discovered a little lady named Alison was performing stand up.
So she went to the said comedy show and met Alison. (who's the stalker now, huh?)
Normally, I would be upset/jealous with NE for busting in and trying to steal quality hang out time with my “next life BFF” but she redeemed herself by getting this:

YES. That is Alison with a BDAY WISH for LL!

And this is me doing a re-enactment of opening the surprise.

Because the original was awful and clearly I don’t want to post pics of me looking disgusting on a blog my future BFF might see.

Doesn't my thumb kinda look like a midget thumb?
And I just made a mental note to declutter the refrigerator door.

I also got an “I HEART NY” t-shirt in the right size because when I asked my mother to complete that mission for me last year I ended up with a man’s size Large.
Thanks mom!
AND NE!




*I guess this is where I should mention Happy Birthday to Ryan! Yay for being a Taurus. Boo for taking my roomie to the Big Apple without me.

Birthday News

Silly me, I was so worried about turning 27, I forgot to mention my lover's birthday too.

Matt (Leinart. My husband.) celebrated his birthday on 5/11.

Which reminds me, it's so nice to be able to spend the holidays together.

Which reminds me, its also so nice to spend big events like the Super Bowl together.

Which reminds me, how cute are we?!

Happy Birthday Matty!

Oh, and in case you were wondering how I spent the 9853rd day of my life...

Also, NE came home from NYC with the best gift ever! Pics to come soon, but I'm sure you won't appreciate them as much as me.

Not because you don't care, just because I care that much more.

The Vampire, Really?!

America, mainly the teenage girl population, I have a bone to pick with you:

1) Kris Allen (Nick Lachey Jr if you will) over Danny?
b) Adam the Vampire over Danny?



I get the love of Kriss. He's the cutest little bug in the room and he has charisma and when he plays the guitar it sounds like the boy you had a crush on in High School.


But Adam?!
OMG he freaks me out.
He wears more make up than a tranny.
His hair is in some sort of idenity crisis.
He is built like Frankenstein,
AND he screams.
ick.

I swear on a pair of black leggings, if you vote for him in the finale there will be a Tivo throw thru a window.



Lets all take a moment and say goodbye to Danny, my sunshine and rainbow raspy voiced idol.

Avoiding the Birthday Blues

26 years, 360 days and counting.

I’m totally trying to win the fight with 27.
The birthday that numerically pushes me into my “LATE TWENTIES”.
Ugh. Stupid Father Time.

Here is a breakdown on the recent rouds of action.*
27, look out! I’m gonna kick your ass.

Round 1:
LL: Bought a new car.
27: Lowered my insurance rates.
(winner: LL)

Round 2:
LL: New hairstyle. I love it!
27: told by a co worker I look “older and edgy”.
(winner: 27?)

Round 3:
LL: Trying to work on a healty lifestyle.
27: Chipped a back tooth
(winner: 27)

Round 4:
LL: Won “Best Speaker” award at Toastmasters
27: I’m in Toastmasters. And it was a speech about my mom.
(winner: 27)


So allegedly, 27 in winning.
Any ideas on a comeback in 5 days are welcomed.


*I said that in my best Mike Goldberg announcer voice. I think he would be impressed.

Feliz Cinco De Mayo

I bet you didn't know I spoke spanish, did you?

Well, its true.

Spanish blog to come soon.

(Like when I really learn the language and not just the words that help me at the bars/cantinas)*

In the meantime, this post is pretty much universal:

* words/phrases like: cerveza, bano, no mas tequila, gracias, no gracias and im still working on "please remove your hand from my boob".

Cerveza Kills Germs

Well, since I've been back from Mexico all I have been receiving on my new Blackberry World Edition Smartphone* are texts and emails asking me if I was infected with the Swine Flu whilst on vacation.

So, I'd like to go on public record to all of you at the same time and tell you all "No", I did not catch the Swine Flu and I will not be dying anytime soon.

(take a moment to let the joy you just felt rush over you)

But now I'd like to take a few minutes and have a PSA for you all on Swine Flu Prevention.

A couple things to keep in mind during this global medical scare:

1) Don't eat the pork. This may turn into something like mad cow, only swineier and less irrate.

2) People will laugh at you if you leave the house donning a cloth mask like Dr. McDreamy. My advice: bedazzle that shit. It just makes it more fancy.

3) When on an Airplane back from Mexico City or Puerto Vallarta or anywhere else South of America, refrain from joining the Mile High Club with any suspicious looking men (or women) (or pigs).

4) I don't know if there is any actual proof to this statement but, being a woman lacking health insurance, I am forced to self medicate. Alcohol will kill 99.9% of all germs. Feel a little achy? Vodka. Starting to sneeze? Tequila. Upset stomach? Jager.

In advance, you are welcome.

When you are living the high life, swine free in America...you can tell everyone you owe it all (or none) to LL.

In other related news:

Here's a pic of me on the beach in Mexico last weekend.

I sure had a great time!

*My new Blackberry is the bomb. I'm so cool. I just wanted to make you jealous.

Speaking of Country

Remember how I've always talked about wanting to be in my own country band?*

And remember that time I told you I was going to take some guitar lessons?*

Oh and remember how we always talk about having group sing alongs around the camp fires?*

Well, get a listen to this:

my (with Steph, Kelly and Em) newest all girl country band

SUGAR WRECKED

Mostly its just 4 girls who have yet to learn how to play an actual instrument but are obsessed with the idea of singing The Wreckers and Sugarland cover songs.

Here is a sneak peek of our first photo shoot and an inro to "the band".

Yes it's jsut individual shots of each of us on Emily's brown chair.

All holding the same guitar.

Start up companies are usually on a budget anyway.

And so are we (minus the chocolate martini that Kelly's sporting, you just can skip corners on fancy).

Here's Steph. The Tall One. She has long arms to strum the guitar like an Angel.

She enjoys wearing gold jewlery, torn jeans and flawless make up.

And Emily. The Wanderer. She can easily get lost in a song, or large groups of people.
She enjoys day drinking, mexican food and a good bottle of wine.

Kelly. The Half Sized Beauty. She's low to the ground, and she's grounded.
She enjoys Chocolate Martinis, planning VA escape missions and trips to AZ.

And LL. The Serious Artist. I can take a serious photo at anytime.
I enjoy Where's Waldo games, bronzer and not smiling.

You can look for us to come to a bar near you. Unless your bar is far away. Then, forget it.

We are currently holding auditions for anyone over the age of 2.5 that can play th spoons. Otherwise, we have to give the position to Kara and I'm a little vague on the child labor rules.

*I started talking about it maybe 2 weeks ago at Country Thunder. There was no way for you to know, don't feel bad.

* I only talk about taking guitar lessons. I don't see myself ever actually taking them. Unless they are free, come with beer and are taught by someone that looks like Jack Johnson.

* I don't camp. I don't know who I think I'm kidding. By camp fire I think I just mean someone's outdoor fireplace in a fancy backyard in the East Valley.