Because of this event and a certain team, I may want to start devising a plan as to how I would get to Tampa on a) on short notice and 2) my blue collar income.
I came to one conclusion: Im going to need more money!
The following are some of the "odd jobs" I have decided to pick up for the extra cash. What do you think?
Work overtime: $0 week
Panhandle on 101& McDonald instead of working overtime: $10 day
Sell cigarettes to minors: $0.50 per smoke
Sell my looks to strangers: $2 if I shave and wear a push up bra
Sell my soul to the devil: $14 if it’s a Sunday
Take bribes from friends to stop wearing the leggings: $100
Head down to the Jr. High at the let boys touch my boobs: $1 per photo if I wear a push up bra, shaving optional
Auction off my Smurf collectibles on Ebay: $25 minus shipping & handling
Ask my parents for money: $4.13
Disguise myself as a girl scout and sell cookies: -$16 (damn thin mints)
Sell the rights to my life to Ryan Seacrest for a reality show on E!: $500 and a bottle of booze
Make out with a homeless man: day old peanut butter sandwich, shaving and push up bra not required
*if you can't put 2 and 2 together, try 6 and 1. That equals 7. Like a touchdown. SCORE!