Cerveza Kills Germs

Well, since I've been back from Mexico all I have been receiving on my new Blackberry World Edition Smartphone* are texts and emails asking me if I was infected with the Swine Flu whilst on vacation.

So, I'd like to go on public record to all of you at the same time and tell you all "No", I did not catch the Swine Flu and I will not be dying anytime soon.

(take a moment to let the joy you just felt rush over you)

But now I'd like to take a few minutes and have a PSA for you all on Swine Flu Prevention.

A couple things to keep in mind during this global medical scare:

1) Don't eat the pork. This may turn into something like mad cow, only swineier and less irrate.

2) People will laugh at you if you leave the house donning a cloth mask like Dr. McDreamy. My advice: bedazzle that shit. It just makes it more fancy.

3) When on an Airplane back from Mexico City or Puerto Vallarta or anywhere else South of America, refrain from joining the Mile High Club with any suspicious looking men (or women) (or pigs).

4) I don't know if there is any actual proof to this statement but, being a woman lacking health insurance, I am forced to self medicate. Alcohol will kill 99.9% of all germs. Feel a little achy? Vodka. Starting to sneeze? Tequila. Upset stomach? Jager.

In advance, you are welcome.

When you are living the high life, swine free in America...you can tell everyone you owe it all (or none) to LL.

In other related news:

Here's a pic of me on the beach in Mexico last weekend.

I sure had a great time!

*My new Blackberry is the bomb. I'm so cool. I just wanted to make you jealous.

Speaking of Country

Remember how I've always talked about wanting to be in my own country band?*

And remember that time I told you I was going to take some guitar lessons?*

Oh and remember how we always talk about having group sing alongs around the camp fires?*

Well, get a listen to this:

my (with Steph, Kelly and Em) newest all girl country band

SUGAR WRECKED

Mostly its just 4 girls who have yet to learn how to play an actual instrument but are obsessed with the idea of singing The Wreckers and Sugarland cover songs.

Here is a sneak peek of our first photo shoot and an inro to "the band".

Yes it's jsut individual shots of each of us on Emily's brown chair.

All holding the same guitar.

Start up companies are usually on a budget anyway.

And so are we (minus the chocolate martini that Kelly's sporting, you just can skip corners on fancy).

Here's Steph. The Tall One. She has long arms to strum the guitar like an Angel.

She enjoys wearing gold jewlery, torn jeans and flawless make up.

And Emily. The Wanderer. She can easily get lost in a song, or large groups of people.
She enjoys day drinking, mexican food and a good bottle of wine.

Kelly. The Half Sized Beauty. She's low to the ground, and she's grounded.
She enjoys Chocolate Martinis, planning VA escape missions and trips to AZ.

And LL. The Serious Artist. I can take a serious photo at anytime.
I enjoy Where's Waldo games, bronzer and not smiling.

You can look for us to come to a bar near you. Unless your bar is far away. Then, forget it.

We are currently holding auditions for anyone over the age of 2.5 that can play th spoons. Otherwise, we have to give the position to Kara and I'm a little vague on the child labor rules.

*I started talking about it maybe 2 weeks ago at Country Thunder. There was no way for you to know, don't feel bad.

* I only talk about taking guitar lessons. I don't see myself ever actually taking them. Unless they are free, come with beer and are taught by someone that looks like Jack Johnson.

* I don't camp. I don't know who I think I'm kidding. By camp fire I think I just mean someone's outdoor fireplace in a fancy backyard in the East Valley.

Who Put Wranglers On My Eye Candy?

If I save a horse and ride a Cowboy...
Who's going to save him?

I learned something last week:

COWBOYS ARE SMOKING HOT!

I've but together a little compilation of sexy belt buckled rugged hottness for you.

Doesn't Mr. Chuck Wicks (bottom) look a tad bit familiar? Like he could Matty's brother?