Wednesday, August 19, 2009

If I Were a Man

So you know how I like sports and drinking beer and the other “what have yous” that some people have a problem believing since the other half of me is so utterly girly?
Well naturally, one would think that if LL were actually a man named “Lance”* she/he would be the “ladies man, man’s man, man around town” type.*
But I’m here to tell you that’s not how I see my man self at all.
Actually, If I were a man... I’d totally be gay.
Because I would want to marry this man: Jeff Lewis. (OH just realized, I’d still be LL!)

Jeff is the star of a BRAVO reality show called “Flipping Out”.
And while some people think he is an arrogant, uptight jerk…I find him to be absolutely FABULOUS.
Last night, NE and I gathered on the couch with Sangria & chocolate candy corn to watch the season premiere that I have been waiting almost a whole year for.
10 months to be exact.
It/He was everything I had hoped for:
OCD in full effect.
Tantrums reminiscent of a 4 year old adult.
Random thoughts of a perfectionist.
Stressed out phone calls that make you feel sorry for the person on the other end.
And, beautiful homes.

Here is an example of some of his work:

I would die to live with him.
His homes are amazing.
Although, I don’t think he would appreciate the fact that I leave my dirty clothes on the floor, squeeze toothpaste from the middle and there are always make-up remnants on the bathroom countertop.
I could change for him though, I promise.

Can you imagine how perfect the gay wedding would be?!

*I actually googled “L names for boys” to come up with an L name I enjoyed for myself. Is it weird that these were some of my options: Langford, Langhorne and Largo?
*that’s stolen from a super cute Renee Z. movie called “Down With Love”. I recommend it for a rainy Sunday afternoon with a bottle of wine. That’s right, bottle.


Holly said...

So I watched your show last night...I understand why you like it. I also felt it hit close to home. WAY WAY too close to home. I feel Jenni's pain. Oh the pain!

LL said...

do you work for a jeff lewis? lol. i know i could never work for him but i do love him.