Monday, August 17, 2009

Power House's Guide to Dating

This weekend, all three single members of the Power House were reflecting on our recent dating disasters.

Being three intelligent, independent and attractive females:
We find it to be a mystery that such greatness can attract such awfulness.

The following is the list of ACTUAL men the three of us have dated (in no particular order).

Can you PLEASE:
Not be unemployed
Not have a secret fiancé
Not sleep with my roommate
Not have a pregnant girlfriend
Not be on probabtion for “domestic violence”
Not be actively in the military with a chance of deployment
Not dump me because “It's hunting season, babe”
Not get up to get me a glass of water, and then never come back
Not have to use a fake id to get into bars
Not use the city bus/light rail/mom as your only means of transportation
Not stand me up on Valentine's Day
Not be my co-worker
Not only call me when you are drunk
Not have to make me blow into a “blow box” to start your car for you
Not play “baseball” for a living
Not have another chick’s stuff in your bathroom when I come over
Not introduce me to your secret 14 year old daughter when I show up in my bikini and stilettos
Not have a back so hairy it scares small children at the pool
Not have a toilet dirtier than the Circle K
Not have a live in "ex-gf"
Not make me say "it did a good job" before I am allowed to leave for the night
Not have a barb wire tattoo (around ANY part of your anatomy)
Not be dodging the repo guy
Not hate football simply because you know I love it
Not fart while you are in my delivery room
Not have a superman shirt and/or tattoo
Not videotape us having sex without me knowing
Not have softer hands than I do
Not have nicer eyebrows than I do
Not shop at K-Momo (or any store reminiscent to)
Not accidently forget your wallet every time we go to dinner

This post is dedicated to the POWER HOUSE!
Here’s to at least a few more disgusting dating experiences before we find the super lucky & ultimately perfect man to hang on to us.


NE said...

I'm proud to report I think I identified which POWER HOUSE member each of these "Not" statements corresponds to.

This either means you made it too obvious or I'm just that good! Let's hope for the latter in case the boys read your blog . . . secretly stalking you in hopes of getting you back of course.

Holly said...

I'd say I got a 95% on the PH statement quiz. Unfortunately I could also relate to a good portion of them. I also have a few I could add.
P.s. Cute pic of the POWER HOUSE