This weekend, all three single members of the Power House were reflecting on our recent dating disasters.
Being three intelligent, independent and attractive females:
We find it to be a mystery that such greatness can attract such awfulness.
The following is the list of ACTUAL men the three of us have dated (in no particular order).
Can you PLEASE:
Not be unemployed
Not have a secret fiancé
Not sleep with my roommate
Not have a pregnant girlfriend
Not be on probabtion for “domestic violence”
Not be actively in the military with a chance of deployment
Not dump me because “It's hunting season, babe”
Not get up to get me a glass of water, and then never come back
Not have to use a fake id to get into bars
Not use the city bus/light rail/mom as your only means of transportation
Not stand me up on Valentine's Day
Not be my co-worker
Not only call me when you are drunk
Not have to make me blow into a “blow box” to start your car for you
Not play “baseball” for a living
Not have another chick’s stuff in your bathroom when I come over
Not introduce me to your secret 14 year old daughter when I show up in my bikini and stilettos
Not have a back so hairy it scares small children at the pool
Not have a toilet dirtier than the Circle K
Not have a live in "ex-gf"
Not make me say "it did a good job" before I am allowed to leave for the night
Not have a barb wire tattoo (around ANY part of your anatomy)
Not be dodging the repo guy
Not hate football simply because you know I love it
Not fart while you are in my delivery room
Not have a superman shirt and/or tattoo
Not videotape us having sex without me knowing
Not have softer hands than I do
Not have nicer eyebrows than I do
Not shop at K-Momo (or any store reminiscent to)
Not accidently forget your wallet every time we go to dinner
This post is dedicated to the POWER HOUSE!
Here’s to at least a few more disgusting dating experiences before we find the super lucky & ultimately perfect man to hang on to us.