Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Bachelorette LL

So every Monday I find myself sitting and I yelling at my television.
I think the television is starting to get his feelings hurt and I know I should stop, but darn it that Bachelorette Jillian just makes me so irritated.
First of all, the Wes thing.

Second, she dumped Jesse (the adorable guy that knew how to rock a vest with his jeans AND made wine for a living) for the previously mentioned jerky Wes.
And now, Ed.
The guy with the creepy mini shorts and chest hair.
ick and UGH.
(sorry NE I know how you feel about Mr. Chicago)
Well, Tuesday morning I woke up still flabbergasted (that's still a word, I think) over Jillian's antics (that's also still one)* and so I decided to send the following email to NE.

I've decided that if there was a dating show created that was one step above "Daisy of Love" and one step below "the Bachelorette", that I'd be perfect for it!
Jillian is pretty much an idiot and I think I'd have way better luck.
Also, it's ok to date/fool around with multiple guys at the same time as long as youre on tv apparently.
Sweet deal I'd say.
How can we make this happen for me?

Stephanie's suggestion was for me to blog about it. You know, because Hollywood steals my ideas and turns them into profit.
So, after much consideration (about 5 minutes), I compiled my wide range list of all the guys that I would need to have in my beach front mansion in order to find love.


I would be willing to take any QB that looks like my Matty. No baby would be better but I cant be choosey. I mean, its obvious woman cant keep their hands off a sportsman. Also accepted: UFC fighters, soccer stars and a limited number of baseball players.


This is the guy who is as passionate about the earth and saving the world and what not. Prius or other hybrid car required. He can care about politics and I will pretend to be interested but really my main concern here is where he stands on vegetarianism and puppy mills.


He doesn't have to be an extreme rock star or American Idol. He can just like to "jam" with his buddies and play the occasional coffee shop gig. He should also like to do crossword puzzles, I'm just saying. Oh, not accepted for the rock star type: Guitar Hero/Rock Band on the Wii.


It would be cool if he actually did live next door. More for the convienence factor. I imagine him to have a job like police officer, firefigher or teacher. And, he'spretty much just your all around smokin hot guy in a tshirt and jeans.


The guy you take out to party with. He also has to have lots of fun friends for my friends so we can have mixers and pool parties and such. Knows how to rock a flannel/plaid shirt and hat.


This is the guy who has it all: gorgeous with better hair than me, funny and smart but reluctant to settle down. The unattainable male. (this is most likely the one I would fall in love with)


Lives life on the edge and is just missing a partner to help partake. He's not afraid to get drunk in the Walgreens or have a few minor runins with the law. I'm even ok with the smoking. Plus, everyone loves a bad boy.


The token offstandish guy with a bit of a handicap (like a scar above his lip). He seems mysterious and in reality he's probably just as whackadoodle as I am.

Well, I think these guys pretty much sum it up.
And isn't it ironic that ALL of my celebrity crushes fit into these catergories perfectly?
It's like my taste in men was already destined to help me with a shot of love* and my own reality show.

If you know of any producers interested in booking a fun loving, adorable party girl for a new season of their dating show that features men that either are or highly resembling anyone above, you'll tell them about me...won't you?
*Let's face it: I'm a walking dictionary today.
* Yes, that is a pun.

1 comment:

Holly said...

1. You know if you were on a dating show you'd have to bring me & NE (& Steph) with because we'd have to disect all of your celebrity crushes I mean bachelors. And by doing that we'd all need new wardrobes.
2. Wes was skeevy & Mr. Short Shorts needs to go. Pour a little out for Reid w/ glasses. Damn shame. Daaamn shame!
3. Go Kiptyn!
P.s. Remind me to tell you something about #3 at a later date.